Good intentions (motivations behind people’s actions)

Yip, the old adage is true: road to hell is,indeed,paved with good intentions.
Often times we sincerely set out to do a good thing and it turns sour… Or our intentions are misunderstood… Or we don’t want to admit to ourselves that there was a hidden agenda deep inside the deed that on the surface seemed noble
Human beings are very complex creatures-remember Shrek and his “onion” theory? Well, I agree: we are all like onions: there are layers upon layers in all of us: some good, some bad,some thin and some quite thick..
Our motivations are often unclear to ourselves, yet alone to others.
For instance, when you contact a working girl (unsolicited) and offer information regarding one of the other working girls that was passed on to you by said WL’s EX-employer-what is your motivation? Do you genuinely want to warn the girl because you don’t want her to get in harm’s way? Or do you want to make a good impression on her and get into her confidence, so she’d share some other industry insider tidbits with you? Or do you simply hope she’ll give you “extra special” service with extras next time you see her professionally in gratitude? Or is it a little bit of all of the above?

Truth is, we want to look good and we want others to like us-it’s human nature. Someone I once knew said “I like to be liked and hate to be hated”-that’s pretty much it in a nutshell and holds true for all of us, whether or not we admit it to ourselves. We seek approval of our peers-it’s in our genetic make-up.
Trouble is, sometimes we go in a round-about way in order to get it.
So when someone takes a high moral ground on an issue, do they do it purely because they feel really strongly about it or maybe just a little because they want to “look good” to others, because it’s the fastest way to gain approval and admiration?
Personally, I no longer “ride the high horse” about anything, as I am well aware of my own shortcomings and I know all too well that once you start talking “high and mighty”, people automatically want to take closer look at you and start searching for flaws,as it is a “knee-jerk” reflex: “you are not so pure yourself” reaction. And let’s face it: none of us are without a fault (well, unless you’re Mother Theresa… and she is dead..). But I’ve learned this lesson as part of my life’s experience and it took me quite some time. It was a different story when I was younger: I was absolutely convinced that at least certain things are black and white and there is nothing in between….
Now I know life is, by far, not that simple.

Often times we want to be perceived as leaders, forward-thinking and knowing the “right” path for everyone.
We want people to look up to us.
So when an “independent”  WL suggests to the one working in a parlour that she should do the same (start working independently) and even offers to help her out with advice and maybe some client recommendations, what is her real motive?
Does she truly believes that the other girl would be much better off and just wants her to “see the light”? Or does she crave respect and gratitude? Or is she trying to get back at the parlour owner who didn’t give her enough credit and wants to prove to her that she is, in fact, mature,capable and able to lead others?
And what about the other girl? Does she feel offended because someone thinks that she doesn’t know what’s best for her? Or did she think about it before and realised that,for whatever reason, she won’t be able to do it and now is just annoyed that someone thinks she is not smart enough to think for herself? Or is she afraid of possible negative implications from her employer and just doesn’t want to admit it? Or does she truly like the situation she is in and is really comfortable with the way things are?

I found out long time ago that when someone doesn’t like you, it’s not likely to abate. Whatever the reason (sometimes people can’t even state clearly why exactly they dislike someone-it’s absolutely irrational), no matter what you say or do, they will remain entrenched in their opinion. In fact, the harder you try to prove yourself, the more animosity (and annoyance)  you create.
A lot of people like me… A lot hate my guts.. More still can care less about me altogether.. That’s life.
I just go with the flow: nothing I say or do will change that. In fact, I am like that myself: for example, there is a girl I absolutely cannot stand for personal reasons (to a point where I avoid working in a parlour where she is employed,despite of the fact that I really like the establishment and everyone else who works there), but objectively speaking, she is probably OK. I am not likely to change my opinion of her, no matter what.
Often times people try to pass their opinion on to others (consciously AND subconsciously). So when someone contacts a working girl and passes some information regarding her new mentor’s checkered past, what is their motivation? Do they genuinely just want to warn the girl and keep her out of the harm’s way? Or do they want to pass on their own personal dislike for said mentor and maybe sway the girl into their way of thinking? Do they even know what the true motivation is themselves?

The problem with passing of any kind of information is that it’s not likely to end with the person you’ve passed it on to. That’s another lesson I’ve learned long time ago.
No matter how much you say “Don’t tell anyone”, people will-again, it’s just the human nature. Even people who condemn gossiping, do, in fact, pass various information to others. They don’t think it’s gossiping because it’s “true” or they did it for noble reasons, or it was “absolutely necessary”, but it is what it is, no matter what the reason.
Information is valuable. It has been since time immemorial. Thrones and kingdoms were lost and gained through learning and passing of the Intel. In fact, espionage is, in my opinion, one of the corner stones of makings of the history 🙂
People pass information for different reasons: sometimes purely for gain, sometimes in exchange for leniency, sometimes for leverage, sometimes because we genuinely like the person talked about and want to warn them,sometimes to get ourselves out of the “dog house”,sometimes because we want to know more or just want to verify the facts-the reasons are so many.
One would think that every time we pass information, we are aware of consequences,surely?? You’d think so, but no, not always the case.
So when you get a feedback (or a backlash,as case might be), as a result of your information passing, do you get angry at the person you passed it on (especially when you didn’t specify that it was “for their ears only)? Do you not blame yourself first and foremost (especially when you offered said information unsolicited)?
I am guilty of this myself. When I was younger, I’ve lost a friendship that was was quite dear to me because of passing of the information. I didn’t do it maliciously, but through some really weird and round-about channels ( which I couldn’t even imagine in a million years) it affected my friend and she knew I was the one who said things. I’ve lost that friend forever. I have no one to blame but myself.

We have  to do what we have to do everyday to survive. It’s easy to be virtuous when you live by yourself in a far away castle and have unlimited wealth..LOL.. The rest of us, mere mortals need to put bread (and butter and caviar) on the table. In order to do this successfully, we need to co-exist with our co-workers and bosses and clients. And, yes, we often need to massage their ego and “go with the flow”-it’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
Often things are complicated and not at all black and white and we are forced to divide our loyalties and choose between  friends and colleagues/employers. Inevitably,we do what we think is the best thing for us,as we have to maintain the roof over our heads and often other people are dependent on us (such as our kids, elderly parents,partners,etc).  So can we honestly judge someone who took a public stand against someone who helped them in the past in order to get “brownie points” from their current employer? Do we really know what goes  through their mind? They might feel torn, they might even try to make it up to a person in private, yet others will never know, will they?
Happened to me before: I took a stand in support of my now ex-girlfriend against our mutual employer, although I didn’t necessarily agree with ALL points of her position and didn’t think she handled the situation exactly right. But she was my girlfriend, I loved her deeply and did everything I could to support her. I actually went as far as contacting local newspapers! Do I regret it? No, not at all-I did what I had to do for the loved one. Would I maintain the same position now? No, because we no longer together and she probably has someone else to massage her ego 🙂 and I can be objective.
That’s the nature of life: it is fluid-nothing is carved in stone. We entitled to change out minds and it’s perfectly fine. Some days we feel differently about certain things than others-it depends on our mood,personal circumstances,etc. And it’s OK.

We get quite involved in things that we do on a daily basis: our jobs, our hobbies-because we spend so much time engaged in those. We participate in related blogs, forums, discussions. We passionately defend out point of view and curiously explore unknown aspects. Often we attend relevant conventions even. It’s called “networking” and it helps us advance in our chosen fields, gain recognition and often reap monetary rewards.All of it is very important to us. It seems like it’d stay that way forever. But it doesn’t. When we switch jobs/fields/countries other things become relevant and important and they replace the ones from before.
It is very natural-we can only concentrate on so many things at one time and there are only so many hours in the day.
It doesn’t mean that we were falsely representing ourselves in that other field before-it just means that we’ve moved on and are now focusing our energies on new projects.
With time, others replace us and the cycle continues.
It’s the same in sex industry. Some girls gain quite high profile and increase their earnings as a result. It seems like they’ll stay that way forever ( good examples are porn stars..LOL..). But when they’re gone, others take their place quite fast and the old ones become a distant memory..
Some girls want to erase all traces of their past when they’re done with escorting. Although quite impossible  to obliterate everything completely in this day and age of modern technology, it is doable. In fact, new,”reputation repair” companies sprouted recently: a lot of corporate companies and individuals as well as celebrities, use them. What they do, in a nutshell, is for a substantial amount of money, they “pollute” Internet with blog entries,articles,etc about said company/individual, thus “burying” negative posts on pages 5,6 or further on the search engines, making it “invisible” for all intents and purposes,as we all have short attention span these days and who wants to “root” through 5 pages and look through every single post…
At the end of the day, it’s just another hooker in a sea of many thousands disappearing into oblivion, to be replaced by thousands more. It’s not like she found the cure for cancer or a way to resolve world’s economic crisis and then deleted all her findings…LOL..
I guess, sometimes people get really wrapped up in something they enjoy and they forget that in the big scheme of things whatever they’re so involved in might be quite insignificant.
We’ve got to remember not to loose sight of what’s truly important: people we love and care about. Life is short and tomorrow may never come. I have a friend who went to bed feeling great and woke up with failed kidney (true story). Do you think he thought about punting and hookers (working or retired) just then? I think not. Same when my Dad woke up one morning and realised that he couldn’t move OR speak (he had a stroke)…. Think about it….

Sometimes certain things really ruffle our feathers.. We feel very strongly and passionately about those. Sometimes people “rub us the wrong way” or touch the nerve… It’s perfectly OK to speak up, to fight back, to express our opinions. In fact, more people should,as honesty really is the best policy. But in doing so we should be careful not to cross the line into nastiness, we should remember that decency and civility are values,too and ppoisonous language doesn’t advance our cause.

Comparison between NZ and Aussie parlours

There is a very lively debate going on Adult Forum (http://www.adultforum.co.nz/) sparked by Lovely Betty’s blog post (http://bettybeldensblog.blogspot.com/) re. the possibility of a new legislation, which could make it illegal for WLs to work privately and parlours/clubs and agencies would then be the only way to ply our trade.
Battle lines have been clearly drawn (I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning!..LOL).

Clearly, parlour owners will greatly profit from this arrangement, as the competition (girls working privately) would be wiped out overnight.
There are a lot of girls working privately in NZ,as it is as easy as putting the ad in the local paper.
A lot of those girls are very high caliber,truly stunning, situated in beautifully appointed premises. Of course, punters opt for those more often than not, as it provides a better atmosphere for GFE,privacy and discretion, to name just a few perks.
Of course, there are plenty of amateurs as well, trying to make a quick buck by pedalling their wares: they misrepresent themselves in the ads, have terrible houses/flats from which they work,have no idea of what proper service really means and,generally, are a sorry excuse for hookers.
Clearly, there is a place for both parlours and private workers, as different clients are after different things: some really want to come in for a chat first, have a drink, a cigarette, have a look around…

As wars are being waged on AF, I thought I talk about what parlours are like both here (NZ) and in Australia.

Australian parlours are generally very nice. Granted, there are exceptions, but if you find yourself in a big metropolis, like Melbourne, for instance, and go into one of many major brothels, you’ll be impressed.

Most of them are beautifully decorated and often have “themed” rooms.

For instance, Harem in South Melbourne is all about “old-style bordello boudoir”: there are crystal chandeliers, gold-gilded mirrors, and red and gold velour everywhere.
All the rooms have velour bedding (different colour in every room). Couple of rooms have four-poster beds and all of them have jacuzzi tabs. Entire place smells of old-world charm and luxury.

Every parlour has a lounge for the girls. Lounges are equipped with large flat-screen TVs w/Foxtel (AU version of Sky). There are plenty of comfortable couches for the girls to sit on. Robes and blankets are provided, so girls could cover themselves if they feel chilly. There are newspapers and magazines provided by the parlour for our perusal. Parlours are kept very warm, they all have central air and girls can control the thermostat or ask the receptionist to do so.

All parlours have kitchens and tea, coffee and juice is supplied for the girls by the parlour at no charge. Often parlours also offer toast, cans of tuna, minute noodles,tomatoes and cold cuts as well-again, at no charge, so the girls could have a snack while on shift.

Money is paid to the girls in cash BEFORE each booking commences. There are no “shift fees” or “advertising fees” or fines or any other such nonsense.

All parlours have cameras, so girls can see the client BEFORE they go out and do the into: this is how they avoid being “outed” by the people they know. Sometimes funny things happen: like when one of my friends was staring in horror at the camera,as she saw he best friend’s (AND roommate’s) fiancee walking through the door (and receptionist telling us that he is “such a good,regular client”)..LOL..

If the girl doesn’t want to do the into, she is not obligated to: all she has to say to receptionist “Not for me, thank you”. Even if she happens to be the only girl available, she won’t be made to go see the client.

Parlours have huge supply of linens and towels and those are kept in good condition: any sign of wear and tear and they’re thrown out.

All parlours have professional cleaners come in every day and they do a very thorough job.

Girls are asked to work certain length of time (usually about 6-7 hours, but NEVER longer than 8 hours). To encourage the girls, most parlours offer a “bonus” system. Those differ, but usually you get ENTIRE amount (the house doesn’t take their fee out) on your 6th booking if you worked for required amount of time (7 hours). However, most parlours are very reasonable: if there are few girls on and it’s not busy, they will let you go at any time, if you wish to do so. No parlour would ever make you work for 10-12 hours, although some girls choose to do so when they are in a dire need of money.

Condoms (of ALL sizes) and lube are provided by parlours for free.
Most parlours have intercoms in the rooms along with panic buttons.

Some places stand out above the rest. For instance, Collinwood Confidential (former Grosvernor) was bought outright (business AND the building) by two gay guys a year ago. What a difference they’ve made!

They purchased all new beds,mattresses,pillows and linens (beautifully colour-coordinated to match the new colour scheme). The entire place was remodeled and re-painted (slow,pain-staking work,as it had to be done room-by-room). It is now a very classy, contemporary place.
Girl’s lounge is HUGE and it has a number of couches as well as  amazingly comfy armchairs  (in case if you want a little solitude and don’t feel like sitting on the couch chatting and watching TV).
There is a large covered outside area for those who like to smoke.
Boys provide yogurts,cold cuts, tomatoes,soups and noodles,tuna and salmon,biscuits,designer teas (such as Lady Grey), fresh pastries every morning and often bring additional special treats during the day. All that at no charge to the girls!
There is 52″ flat-screen TV w/Foxtel, fresh gossip mags and newspapers.
They offer DOUBLE bonus system: they pay you additional $5 for each booking  at the end of your shift and a full bonus for your 6th booking.
More importantly, they really care about well-being and safety of the girls. They take time to talk to each girl individually (and there are a lot of girls working in that parlour), find out what her situation is, what days/hours are best suited for her and try to tailor the schedule to fit her needs/goals.
They also pay close attention to every detail.
Mike and Barry (the owners) are great! This is how a parlour should be run.

Yes, there are definitely run-down sad-looking parlours in Melbourne as well, but the goods ones are everywhere, so why even bother with the bad ones??

Also, in Australia WLs have to undergo mandatory health testing every month: one cannot work in a parlour without a DC (doctor’s certificate). Testing includes blood sample (once every 3 months) and STI swab (vaginal and throat,as Gonorrhea could be nesting in there-take a note,those who ask for “natural” blow job-it’s a medical fact). This is strictly enforced.
Once the client has chosen a girl and paid, he is taken into the room and subjected to a “health check” (performed by the girl). We usually look for obvious signs of STI. If the girl notices something “out of order” she could either ask another girl to double check or simply tell the receptionist that the client failed health check. In that case the guy is given his money back and shown the door. No questions asked.
It is, actually, a very good practice,as there is nothing worse than being in the middle of a booking and suddenly seeing something that’s clearly a sign of STI: it makes it very awkward for all concerned.

Girl can refuse to see any client even if she’s done the into: if she feels uncomfortable, no one will force her.
Generally, receptionists are “on the ball”, watching client’s depart:girls meant to walk them out. If the girl is not there with the client, receptionist will immediately buzz the room to make sure that the girl is OK.

Now.. NZ parlours… I worked in a few and my girlfriend worked in some, so the following is compilation of our experiences.
Quite a few of NZ parlours are run-down (some are just plain dirty). A lot of them were “converted” in a hurry and have mismatched furniture bought in second-hand stores. This is especially true for smaller towns.
I’ve worked in a places where parlour has doubled up as owner’s personal storage: there was everything but a kitchen sink in there, in plain view. NZ owners are also very stingy with power:sometimes the heater in the room is not turned on until you actually walk in it with a client (and most NZ buildings don’t have any insulation, so in winter rooms are ice-cold and barely warm up by the end of one-hour booking,when the heater is switched off again).
There are few truly beautiful places (FunHouse being one of them), but on the average parlours in NZ are pretty sad looking: they are all in a major need of remodel (old,peeling paint and water stains), linens are threadbare and they all show signs of neglect.
Parlours would often dictate which shift they let any particular girl to work. Often they require very long shifts (10-12 hours).
Many parlours pay the girls at the end of the shift (which creates the problem if the girl wants to leave early) or even weekly (I would never work for a place like that, as it creates way too many variables).
Often parlours don’t have a nice area for girls to sit while waiting for a client (sometimes it’s just a cramped under-the-stairs area next to a washer and dryer). Or they DO have a nice area, but the girls are obligated to stand on their feet and talk to the clients all the time while not in a booking.
Some male owners take liberties with WLs and “sample the goods” for free before they let girls work in their establishments.
There are no health checks (for either girls or clients) and girls often pressured into seeing clients they don’t want to see or perform “extras” they don’t want to do as a condition of their  employment.
Often there are no intercoms or panic buttons.
Sometimes owners or receptionists “close their eyes” on the fact that a client is way too intoxicated, agitated or plain dangerous-they just want the money.
Sometimes owners “micromanage” the girls and decide who they want to introduce to any particular client or what the girl should wear,etc.

Bottom line: in my humble opinion, NZPC and the Government should try and regulate parlours/clubs a bit more. We need to set higher standards,as some of those places are just plain embarrassing.

Parlour receptionists are a different story altogether. Some of them are really great and go out of their way to create a great atmosphere for both girls and clients (not an easy balancing act).
However, I’ve seen receptionist unceremoniously poking and pushing the girl to wake her up after a 10-hour shift to say “Hi” to a drunk client who couldn’t even string 2 words together coherently… I’ve witnessed them implying that the girl would “loose” her money if she left early…
I was imposed a fine once for refusing to use  parlour’s driver to take me to work (I’d rather have my own car at all times). You can guess why that parlour insisted on a driver taking girls to and from work: less freedom for the girl,as it’s not that easy to leave on your own at 2 am, especially if the receptionist refuses to give you your money.
Some receptionists are quite skilled at “scary tactics”: they don’t say things out loud, but rather, imply them. This way they can always deny they’ve done anything wrong.
My girlfriend was working in a major parlour in Auckland when she became ill during the shift. Manager told her she would be fined $200 (!!) if she left early. In that same parlour my girlfriend’s wallet (with $800 in it)was stolen by another WL. Management did find the culprit that very night, but… They let her back to work 3 days later!
There are some pretty good agencies I know of in Wellington, where they rent private apartments, furnish them nicely and book the girls through phone/Internet. However, same problems exist: some managers pressure the girls into doing multiple bookings in a row (say 5-6) or into seeing clients the girls don’t want to see.
The best and most successful one at the moment is First Impressions, as it’s run by the girls themselves as a co-op (every girl truly works for herself).

Receptionists really do have the power to “make or break” any girl’s income. This I know for a fact.
I am friends with a really great receptionist in Melbourne. She truly cares and a lot of times acts as a “personal assistant” to the girls. I remember her telling me once to bring my washing in and she’d wash/dry and fold it for me, so I could work! (of course, I never took her up on that, but she seriously meant it). She would go after a client without the slightest hesitation if she suspected the girl was in trouble.
She told me once that she has a special pen on her at all times (NOT the flimsy plastic kind), so she could aim for the guy’s throat with it if he intended any harm to the girl.
She is the one who told me it is so easy to manipulate and control any one’s bookings. For instance, she overheard this one very pretty and very popular girl making fun of another, less attractive WL and being quite nasty and unkind. My friend demanded that the pretty one apologised immediately (the other girl was in tears and my friend hates injustice). When the girl stubbornly refused, my friend told her that she will not see another booking until she produces a heart-felt apology.
The way she did it was very subtle: after all the private intros were done, if the client wanted to book the pretty girl in question, my friend would hesitate for just a fraction of a second.. Then say “OK, sure, if you want her..” and just trail off. Of course, the guy would ask for more info and my friend would say “Oh, I don’t know.. I haven’t heard anything BAD about her.. In fact, no one said anything,really… Not like they do about (another girl’s name)-she CONSTANTLY gets a lot of great comments”. Of course, the guy then books that other girl..
You see how easy it is?
I was entangled with a receptionist from another parlour (see Lamentable Lesbian Love Story) and we never really got started… The girl she is with now happens to also be a receptionist in that same parlour.
I did one shift with her (you could cut the tension with a knife) and only got one booking, despite of the fact that I was THE ONLY girl available AND clients seem to like me in the into. They all went to talk to the receptionist (you have to in order to make a booking) and they all left without booking. I’m sure she had something to do with it.
We are all human: sometimes we can’t help the way we feel and our emotions get the best of us. In ideal world, the only criteria would be one’s job performance, appearance,attitude and work ethic. But we don’t live in ideal world, do we?
At least, when the girls work private, they have no one but themselves to blame if their business fails. That’s why some cannot do it: they need the structure and discipline of the parlour. But the parlours shouldn’t take advantage of that. It is a very fine line and a hard balance to find, but some manage to do it (and those are usually the most successful ones)

Lower priced parlours/agencies vs. higher end ones

AdultForum has given me a lot of inspiration as of late,it seems.. Who would’ve thought.
Another lively discussion was started the other day. At the center of it: service (or quality of thereof) in lower priced agencies/parlours.
I like metaphors, so will use one to illustrate my point.
How often do you walk by a kebab  (or a subway sandwich) shop and, on a whim, stop to have a quick meal? Or find yourself suddenly hungry and just pop into a neighbourhood pizzeria? Quite often you’d say. Not much thought goes into it,is it? You feel the urge, you satisfy it.
Now, how often do you just “pop” into the Logan Brown (one of Wellington’s premiere five-star restaurants,the winner of many culinary awards and accolades)? My guess is, not that often.
One of the reason being  Logan Brown is booked out more often than not and requires advanced bookings.
Another reason is it’s not cheap. A dinner for two with wine match there could easily set you back $300-$500 or more (depending on your wine taste).
Usually such dinner signifies a special occasion, so the booking is made in advance and event is eagerly anticipated. Preparations are made. Certain amount of time is set aside to fully enjoy the experience.
Your expectations are quite different as well.
While at a kebab shop (or any similar establishment) you simply expect the ingredients to be fresh and the meal satisfying, you often could care less about the decor, ambiance and hardly ever expect high level of service:efficient and expedient fulfillment of your order with a “thank you” and a smile would usually suffice.
So you pop in, have them wrap your kebab up,pay and go (or hungrily consume it in the shop,as case might be).

It’s a whole different story in a place like Logan Brown. You’re paying good coin for your experience, so you note every detail and your expectations are high.
You want the ambiance. You want award-winning designs in decor. You expect everything to be spotless.
You want “premium” soap and expensive features in the bathroom. You expect your server to have extensive knowledge of food and wine and cater to your every whim. You don’t want your food just “piled high” on the plate: you want to see artistic presentation that vows you even before you took a single morsel into your mouth.
You want the experience to last, as well. You don’t want to be rushed. You can well spend anywhere from two to four hours enjoying that dinner.

Both types of places serve the same purpose: you go there hungry, have a satisfying meal and leave sated.

But how terrible it would be if there were ONLY kebab shops available or ONLY Logan Brown types of restaurants! It would be unthinkable,as we have different needs at different times.
Same people partake in both on a regular basis. Existence of different types of establishments provide the balance we need in our daily lives.

It’s not much different in sex industry. Simply put, sometimes you just want a quick kebab and sometimes you want a masterpiece to be enjoyed at length.
Some agencies/parlours specialise in “volume” business. They charge less and provide the same basic service,but things are not quite as “upscale”: you could run into another punter on the way in or out, sometimes girl that you’ve booked becomes unavailable because she took another booking 10 min prior (remember, they are able to charge less BECAUSE they’re keeping ’em going).. Sometimes place is a bit untidy because six bookings in a row took place without any time in between to allow for housekeeping..
These places have it’s purpose and it’s own “niche” clientele: a lot of cabbies on their lunch break, a lot of office workers, out for a “quick fix”… There is also a type of client who always want someone “new” and “young”-these parlours are haven for those,as they entice new girls with a promise of a lot of money (which is true:for about first 3 weeks,after which the girl is not “new” anymore)
These lower priced agencies often offer 20-min specials at a reduced rate,as well.
So if you suddenly found yourself “hungry” or have been “hungry” for a while and just can’t save up the funds to eat at “Logan Brown” type of parlour, you can still find satisfaction at one of the lower priced ones.
The service is generally the same: you receive massage, BJ and sex. However, due to the lower prices and “volume” issue, ambiance and decor could fall short of the “top notch”.. The girls may not be as immaculately presented… They may not be as articulate as their counterparts in “posh” agencies or they may just not want to make an extra effort,as they get paid less..
So, yes, you would still satisfy your “hunger”, but it won’t be a particularly refined experience.

When booking an upscale escort, the expectations are quite different (as well they should be: lower priced agencies in Wellington charge $140/hour, while “upscale” could run you anywhere between $200-$400/hour. 50% is a HUGE difference).
Usually you peruse through  girls’ photos online, finding the one who really “floats your boat”. You read her profile. You contact her (often several times). You make a booking and eagerly anticipate it. Often times you saved up for a while to enjoy your time with an escort.
You should expect a beautifully appointed premises,spotlessly clean. Certain ambiance is present as well (both Betty and I happen to like candles for that purpose and some nice “mood” music). You don’t want to rush, so you engage in a conversation (on multiple-hour bookings I supply wine,cheese and fruit-I ask my clients in advance what type of wine or other beverage they prefer)..
For that price, you also expect a “full-on” experience (whatever it means to you: sometimes it’s a “girlfriend” thing with lots of passionate kissing and cuddling, sometimes it’s role play, sometimes it’s something deviant,even-all that is discussed prior to the booking). Once you came, you don’t expect to be rushed into a shower or the girl taking off: you might want to cuddle in the afterglow and continue the discussion two of you have started before…
Again, your “hunger” is satisfied, but… Totally different kettle of fish, isn’t it?

Since we are on the subject, I want to address the actual “service provider” issue.
Again, I’ll start with an example.
One of my exes is an amazingly talented Chef. She spent years of grueling training abroad to rise up to five-star status. She worked in premiere restaurant in Dubai, Melbourne and here in NZ. She commands very high wages… But she also throws sausage on the barbie for her family and puts together quick scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast-nothing at all refined about that and she is not trying to make it so-every one of us can make those things exactly the same way she does (even myself, and I really can’t cook…LOL)
In recent years, due to the various circumstances, she had to take a job that paid substantially less than what she’s accustomed to… Then another one that paid even less than that.. Yip, economy is not doing so good these days and no one is willing to pay proper wages, even to most talented and gifted people and she has bills to pay and obligations to meet. Does it make her less of a Chef? Of course not. Does it take less of a skill to cook the food because the wage is less? Definitely not (she worked in a 5-star, very famous establishment in Auckland-they just didn’t want to pay the money). Will she be able to command high wages again when economy corrects (God, please don’t let us all drown)? Of course!
Same applies to working girls. Generally, they produce the level of service that is proportionate to the amount of money they get paid. And, yes, sometimes they work in a lower priced establishment because of the money. In there, they don’t provide the full spectrum of services they are trained for/capable of, simply because often it’s not required or there is no time for it or they don’t get paid enough to go “extra mile”.
For instance, I am a qualified clinical psychologist. In America I had a lot of regular clients who came to see me more for that side of things,rather than sexual. Yes, we had sex, but it was a very small part of an extensive booking.
I’m also trained for light BDSM. Again, a lot of clients want that integrated into the service (you’ll be surprised just how many).
I’m also well-traveled and well-versed in various subjects and can keep up an interesting conversation.
I am a qualified masseuse.
I am readily familiar with various investments and real estate subjects (a lot of clients ask for a real-time practical advice).
In a lower priced parlour where I worked until recently, the framework was not permitting me to utilise most of those qualities. If someone books 20 min or half an hour, there is barely enough time for a perfunctory massage, BJ and sex (I try to provide at least a couple different positions), let alone in-depth conversation.
On the same token, when only paid $90/hour, ($80 until few months ago), I was not willing to do advanced sessions without additional compensation-why should I?
Additionally, a lot of bookings were literally, “last minute”, with maybe 10 min notice or no notice at all-there was no time to prepare for anything.
These days, working independently, I plan my bookings in advance. Most of my clients want multi-hour bookings,as it gives them time to get the most out of it. I use very discreet, beautifully furnished premises with amazing view of Wellington’s harbour (people who own the apartment rent it by the hour).
I take time to get to know my clients and, being paid twice as much as I used to when working for an agency, I am quite willing to provide various extensive extras at no additional charge.

Bottom line: yes, money definitely makes a difference. And there is a place for “kebab shops” as well as “Logan Browns”.
Sometimes you want just a “kebab” and sometimes you want “duck confit”-this is the way life is

Safety in the sex industry

In the past few weeks a number of disturbing stories hit the newspapers: two escorts were found murdered in Melbourne (both in Port Melbourne, but so far they are treated as un-related homicides), a 14-year old girl nearly escaped kidnapping, another woman was found dead in one of the suburbs-killed by her boyfriend.

Where does simple attraction end and unhealthy/dangerous obsession begins? What pushes a person “over the edge”-so they lose all grip on reality?
As I’ve had my own scary stalker story (http://courtesansdiary.blogspot.com/2011/08/pitfalls-of-courtesans-life-client.html), I am very aware of client’s strange/suspicious behaviours.
Just today  a client came into the parlour and booked me. Receptionist warned me that he used to see this other girl named Summer all the time,but she left the industry about a month ago and he’s been asking for her ever since.
The booking was a tedious one, as the guy didn’t want massage or small talk-he just wanted to “go at it” for the whole hour (so he definitely got his money’s worth:/). At the end he asked me if I knew other girls. He wondered if I knew Summer specifically (he we go, I thought). When I told him I haven’t seen her in 3 months, he pressed, asking if she seemed happy or sad about a month ago. I reminded him that I haven’t seen the girl in THREE months (!!). For the next 10 min I was subjected to a barrage of questions: is it common for WLs to take time off work? What other parlours are in the area (he actually wrote down the addresses!)? Do parlours have our contact info?,etc,etc,etc. It was clear to me that he intended to go and visit all the other parlours in the area in an attempt to find Summer.
On the way out he stopped by the reception desk and tried to harass the receptionist, mumbling about “wanting to say goodbye to Summer”. He also tried to talk to another WL in passing,asking if she was Summer’s friend.
When he left, receptionist told me that he had actually written a letter to Summer and posted it to the parlour. She showed it to the management (good girl-it helps to keep people aware of what’s going on). In the letter, he made all those assumptions and it was pretty clear that he was obsessed with that girl.
This guy has clearly lost all touch with reality: in his mind, he actually had a RELATIONSHIP with WL! While for her it was clearly client/sex provider relationship, he imagined much,much more.
This is actually quite common psychological disorder: when one person starts imagining that another is in love with them and they are letting them know through certain looks,gestures and ambiguous wording.
Unfortunately, these sort of disorders tend to progress if left untreated-they can lead to physical violence,kidnapping or even worse.
Sex workers encounter this more often than anyone else,as the very nature of this business is intimacy.
The object is to make client feel “special” through kissing, hugging,passionate sex,etc. Often WL and client have heart-to-heart conversations,and a lot of private details are shared, thus creating this sense of intimacy.
It is so easy for a client to forget that we are just doing our job (sometimes all too good). That we are laughing at his jokes and listening with rapt attention because we are PAID to do so. Yes, we act sympathetic of his troubles and support your opinions, whether or not we actually feel that way,because we are “on the clock”…
It is important to gently remind clients that all  this “perfect world of intimacy” is largely a fantasy land. Reality is quite different AND ever present-no one lives in a dreamland “forever after’.
Yes, it is possible for a WL girl to fall for a client and it does happen… But not nearly as often as guys imagine.
If the girl likes you, she’ll find the way to let you know, trust me. There is no such thing as “she’s too shy” or “she probably doesn’t know how to breach the subject”.
You know that movie “He’s just not that into you”? Well, it’s the same with the girls-there are no “hidden” signs. If she is not volunteering her number/asking for yours/suggesting a meeting outside of work, guess what? She’s just not that into you!
Ladies,please be vigilant. Talk to your friends and people you trust about “clingy”, obsessive clients. Document all  communications with them ( you might need it later). Let people know when going to see clients on extensive bookings/out-of-town. We (all of us) can help each other by looking after each other.