Things we never talk about (Marina)

We all have things we keep to ourselves: whether good,bad, embarrassing or simply “too far out”, for various reasons we find them hard (or impossible) to talk about.
It could be something as simple as fetish (I have one I’ve never told ANYONE about,for instance) or sexual fantasy or as serious as crime committed in the past or transgression that could possibly ruin one’s career,relationship or social standing.
These secrets are locked deep within us and often times we are convinced we’ve even thrown away the key and whatever it is will never come out.
Trouble with keeping  things bottled up is that they want to come out. They keep on slow burning, bubbling,eating,corroding you from inside.
It is my firm belief that one of my friends died because she’s never let something inside her out.

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“Kicked out of motel”-Part II

My motel saga prompted a bit of a discussion on the forums and various opinions were presented.
Those opinions definitely gave some food for thought and more in-depth analysis.

I think that if one is really serious about hers/his moral convictions and it is important to them to maintain high level of integrity regarding those, then motel business is probably not the best for them.
Let’s face it: some sort of illicit or immoral activity goes on in any given motel if not on a daily, then definitely on a weekly basis:
Where do married people go for their trysts when they’re having affairs? Motels
Where do young unwed people go to have a bit of a “roll in the hay”? Motels
What about all the  guys who stop for a night, go out for a drink and return with a lady for a one night stand?
How many children were conceived in motel rooms? How many of those out of a wedlock? Or from a person other than one’s spouse/partner?

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Kicked out of motel

So the manager/owner of the motel where I’m staying (and working) for 2 days has called my room and asked me to leave tomorrow.. He clearly is afraid of confrontation,as he called (vs. knocking on my door and speaking to me face-to-face) and started by asking if I needed a service (as in room cleaning). When I politely declined, he said that he would like me to leave tomorrow (I was originally planning to stay 3 nights, so it only cuts out 1 night). He went on saying that this is a “family” motel (whatever THAT means) and they don’t permit working girls staying here…
Let’s ponder this for a minute..
First of all, prostitution is decriminalised in New Zealand, which means I’m not doing anything illegal.

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Beginning of the End

As sad as it it, all relationships come to a point when they “run their course”. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
I’ve written on the subject before (“Monogamy vs.commitment”)-I don’t believe we’re meant to be monogamous forever. Relationships are tricky,complicated and require a lot of work. And sometimes, no matter how much work we’ve put into them, it just doesn’t pan out.
Unfortunately, realisation that “this is not working” does not come to both partners simaltaneously. And there lies the problem.

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Different aspects of working privately

So I am officially working privately in New Zealand now…
Of course, I’ve taken private clients before (while working a regular job or working for an agency/parlour) and even done “working” road trips, but this is the first time when I  do this exclusively (I don’t have a “normal” day job and I don’t work for any parlours or agencies), legitimately (prostitution was de-criminalised in NZ 7 years ago) and as a proper business (I have a website, blog, online ad and accountant).
This took some work: my web designer spent a couple of months designing the site, I’ve had professional photos done, I’ve established on-line profile on the popular Adult Forum here in NZ, I’ve written a lot of blog entries 🙂 and answered countless private messages… I even went to Auckland to meet with some people and gain their insights on the industry.
New Zealand is quite unique: it is a fairly small country with population of 4 million, so things are different in here: there is only one major advertising site for sexual services and one forum where such services discussed. There are a couple of others, but they are smaller and are frequented mostly by the same people (with some exceptions). That’s why it’s next to impossible for a working girl to “re-invent” herself under a different name: within days (sometimes hours) one  or more of the clients does the “research” and will post on the Forum his findings. Although the reasons for “re-invention” could be perfectly legitimate (stalker,ex-boyfriend,unwanted client,etc), it usually looks suspicious to clients. Unlike in the big countries, there is no way for the girl to get “lost” and re-appear as someone entirely different in another parlour/city/state and start with “clean slate”. So one has to be careful building up a profile and creating a “persona”.

So far I’ve noticed few things that were not obvious to me when I worked for agencies/parlours.

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Conman clients

Wide-spread perception is that  working girls are prone to cheating their clients out of their hard-earned money… Complaints range from girls misrepresenting themselves in advertising to taking the money and not delivering the service and everything in between.
I am not going to deny that it happens and I am not going to explain girls behaviors or to defend/condemn them-this post is not about that.

There are serious predators out there-they are like great big sharks-slowly cruising the murky waters and methodically choosing their victims. Their cons involve planning and certain brazenness. They are not without a skill. They choose the industry that is illegal in most countries and un-regulated in others, so that the victim has no recourse and can’t file a complaint with the police.

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What is a “courtesan”

If you really look into exact definition, in the old days ladies who became single (widowed) would move together into a house and occasionally throw parties for gentlemen’s pleasure. They were not prostitutes-just someone to have “good time” with…

Over time,the meaning has evolved. “Courtesan” these days is someone who fine-tunes the oldest profession and provides services that go above and beyond of those of regular prostitute.

Courtesans take meticulous care of themselves: they stay in shape,do their hair,nails,toes. They dress with care and alluringly (not to be confused with trashy). They are often very well educated (I myself have a dual Master’s and I know of other Ladies who hold Doctorate degrees), so they can hold an intelligent conversation on variety of topics. They readily familiar with fine dining and etiquette.

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How it all started

I was 17.. I know,shocking. But it is what it is.

My dream was to be a stewardess (or,more politically correct,flight attendant). Back then in Russia (my country of origin) the screening process for Aeroflot was held about once every 2 months at the Regional Aeroflot Headquarters. I was just 17 (required age was 18),but I didn’t tell interview panel that. I passed the “look-see” and “Q&A” stage and next was medical,which was really most important of them all: if you failed that, no amount of good looks or education would get you the job.

I passed the medical and was able to sweet talk HR person into accepting me,as my 18th birthday was just a few month away. I was so thrilled!

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Beauty vs. sex appeal

It is a very common misconception that in my industry (strippers,working girls) you have to be beautiful,thin,tall,busty to make lots of $$$$. WRONG!

Sex appeal is something intangible-it can’t be described, it can’t be taught, I don’t even think it can be acquired. You either posses it or you don’t. And it has very little to do with physical beauty.

For years I worked in one of the oldest and biggest strip clubs in Las Vegas-Olympic Gardens. The place was open 24/7. It was (and probably still is) owned by Pete The Greek,who later went on to open Sapphire.

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Do I regret becoming a working girl?

The short answer is “no”, not at all. Probably because I didn’t go into it for the wrong reasons-I’ve never done any drugs, so didn’t have to support a drug habit, I was never an alcoholic, I didn’t need the money to support a boyfriend,etc,etc.
I went into it for the money and I always treated it as a job and approached it professionally. It was and still is the only job out there that is does not require a big start-up costs or set-up and provides instant CASH income that greatly exceeds your average salary.
Fact is,although I posses no unique talents, I’ve always had a knack for generating income and quickly adapt and learn new skills. Ever since I was very young, I knew this was one of the ways to support myself and be independent. And I’ve always wanted to be independent.

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