Got myself a BLONDE!

In my other life HR was always a part of my job in some shape or form, one year I even  managed a national personnel company we delivered recruitment and career services to organisations and individuals. We did three things when recruiting:

SourcingRecruited new staff from within local communities, education and training establishments, referral programmes and off-site recruitment drives and of course the more traditional recruitment techniques… Can’t see me being allowed into Unitec to advise ladies of the merits of the adult industry.
SelectionAs a specialist recruiter, developed expertise in matching skills, attitude and cultural requirements of clients and candidates to ensure best fit, productivity and reliability.
This I use all the time in the adult industry. I call it Phiona’s Gut Instinct or “The Recruitment Fairy”
ComplianceEnsuring that recruitment services complied with our stringent selection processes, as well as with all legislative requirements. Ensured that all references were taken, licences and qualifications validated, criminal background checks performed, Health and Safety inductions were complete and appropriate documentation was stored on file.
Some of this is still relevant, criminal background checks/references… not so much

So as you can see recruitment is one of the hardest jobs in the Adult industry let me share with you some of the experiences I have had in the past 3 months.

  • Young lady comes to see me with missing front teeth and I quote
    “ It doesn’t look great – but I suck like a vacuum cleaner” You stay classy honey.
  • Lady had made an appointment to see me, she arrived 45 mins late wearing slippers and smelling like an old ashtray.
  • “Yes I’m a size 8 to 10.” she was a size 16 or I AM THE POPE!
  • ”I would love to do this work” a girl last week told me ”but I don’t do blow jobs because I can’t stand the sight of a penis “”
  • Was sent a photo of a stunning lady without her face, great body. She got here and was so drunk she couldn’t stand straight, her face was 55 if she was a day

 Now by this stage I was losing faith in finding the right girl when I got a text message from a girl wanting to work for Paradise. I prepared for the worst. One text, one phone call and my faith has been restored! I met Holly and Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh there is a recruitment fairy! Amirite?

I asked for a young, petite blue-eyed blonde with a stunning personality and got a gorgeous size 6 sweetheart who is brand new to the industry. So moral of this story is recruitment in this industry is one of the hardest things, you have to go through a lot of frogs to find a paradise princess.

Another day in Paradise.

“Sex is natural, sex is good
Not everybody does it, but everybody should”
 – George Michael

Admittedly not the best person to quote when it comes to discreet sexual activity, but it’s a pretty catchy song. I never actually thought that I’d be a blog person or that my life would take the direction that it actually has but it would be a shame not to put it down into some written form for you all to enjoy.

I had considered being a policewoman, a counsellor, following in the footsteps of Angelina Jolie and adopting exotic children or becoming a business consultant. I got most of those wishes. Be careful what you wish for!

As I look around my business today and find myself surrounded by cast-off shoes, find mismatched stockings in the laundry, a thousand and one beauty products on every available surface and a dishwasher filled with sterilised dildoes – I’ve never been happier!
Chasing around after girls is hard work, but it’s very rewarding (in the form of male strippers at the work Xmas function – story for another time perhaps?).

Amazing how quickly it becomes normal to answer the work cellphone when standing in line at the supermarket and describing the exact dynamics of a Male/Female/Female tryst complete with strap-on, costumes and sex furniture. “Yes that does include multi-shots you can cum as many times as you like – but anal play does incur an extra fee” and I wonder why the checkout girl is trying to hurry me through without making eye contact 🙂
Or having to describe the shape and size of a woman’s nipples, are they sensitive, pink or light brown, large areola, soft or firm? If I tell you that I’m in public and it’s 7am, please ask Yes or No questions such as this gem: “Does she like having her pussy sucked on the inside?”. I will answer as best I can. (Yes, I actually did just get asked that).

I’ve learnt a lot from this industry – when I have sex now I make sure it’s bloody good!
Got to practice what I preach.

Tune in next time for another glance into this Madame’s Little Black Book.